The Whispering Deaths

Noises echo throughout my head
Whispering thoughts that bring such pain
Lead me to believe in dreams
That vanish, never seen again

These four walls draw ever nearer
In a corner I crouch and pray for peace
A window to bring in fresh air
So claustraphobia shall ever cease

I search for you to make me whole
And bring to me back eternal smiles
Saving me from my other self
And burning these char-blackened files

But till that day I wait in time
And dream of our firelit heath
That beats away the ghosts of mind
And brings defeat of my whispering death

There is one song that currently sits high in my list of "yeah I relate to that" and it is rather sad, because its a pop song, and I pride myself on my lack of pop culture that I entertain ;)

Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

The song reminds me of what I want to find in life, that person who I can just spend forever with and know that there is nothing that can destroy that.

Other songs, Staind - Zoe Jane, Staind - So Far Away, and of course, Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb, if you haven't heard these songs, find them. 

Its a swedish website, but this blog is in English, tough if nobody likes it, thats life.

The whole blog phenomenom  has been something I've never really gotten involved in it. It was seeing somebody elses blog, that has helped me on the way to finding somewhere to write my opinion on the world.

So who am I? And what is this? Who really knows, this could be my voyage to find myself, or to find my place in society.

I think lately, in the last three months, things have fallen away for me, from working towards my dream life, to sort of sitting in limbo. It's been an unusual turn, and rather difficult to deal with, especially given the circumstances I find myself in.

So it has been with this in mind that I have surrounded myself with people who had alterior motives. The type of people whom I had managed to discard whilst being with Susanna, and it has been that, when i needed people to lean on the most, that I have let myself down in my judgement. It has brought me to the decision to discard those people, quite similarly to how one discards rubbish, and have simply cut them out of my life.

It has left me a little bit lonely, but a little less stressed. I sit here on the other side of the world from everything I know, which is not easy. Sure, I have people whom I associate with, and even people I would call friends, but there's that little extra missing for me to trust someone, the trust I shared with someone for the past three years.

So I guess thats a short description of my current situation. And its the situations I find myself in that affect my point of views on life and who we are as people.

If anyone is crazy enough to read this, the blog will come to include poetry (mine naturally) and philosophies as well as descriptions of whats happening in my life.