Alla inlägg den 29 januari 2009

Av Gary Fraser - 29 januari 2009 21:48

I've sorta gone the other direction to this song.

From morning to night I stayed out of sight
Didn't recognize I'd become
No more than alive I'd barely survive
In a word...overrun

Won't hear a sound
From my mouth
I've spent too long
On the inside out
My skin is cold
To the human touch
This bleeding heart's
Not beating much

I murmured a vow of silence and now
I don't even hear when I think aloud
Extinguished by light I turn on the night
Wear its darkness with an empty smile

I'm creeping back to life
My nervous system all awry
I'm wearing the inside out

Look at him now
He's paler somehow
But he's coming round
He's starting to choke
It's been so long since he spoke
Well he can have the words right from my mouth

And with these words I can see
Clear through the clouds that covered me
Just give it time then speak my name
Now we can hear ourselves again

I'm holding out
For the day
When all the clouds
Have blown away
I'm with you now
Can speak your name
Now we can hear
Ourselves again

Av Gary Fraser - 29 januari 2009 20:50

Things haven't been going so well for me lately. Someone has yet again vandalised a car I drive, I've given up on love, and although work has gotten better, I retain no zest for my job, or for my future anymore.

Its not that I feel sorry for myself, because I don't really, I just can't seem to motivate myself anymore. I go through the motions day in, day out. I play football, rather badly at the moment, and otherwise I have nothing to really look forward to in my day-to-day life.

Its all well and good asking for help, the thing is, even if I listen to the advice, understand it, and say "hey, that's a good idea", I won't follow through on it.

I don't want to move, and I don't want to what to do? It feels like I could just roll over, go to sleep and never wake up again.

This all sounds pathetic, if I had read this even a year ago, I would have given myself a kick up the backside, but now I see what my parents saw all those years ago.....

The apartment is a mess, and there's dishes to do, clothes to wash and a car to clean out (two really) but there's just nothing pushing me forward anymore.

Gonna zone out and do something completely pointless for a while.....

Av Gary Fraser - 29 januari 2009 20:41

Free falling, without hindrance

Tumbling towards the ground

That final step has been taken

The wind the only sound

I think of my life

And what it has become

And all I see is emptiness

My potential is now none

This dream I have so often

Of taking my final bow

Would anybody think twice

If I ended it just now?

So falling through the air

Like life I am alone

A tear escapes my eye

As the flesh meets the stone.

Skaffa en gratis