Direktlänk till inlägg 29 januari 2009

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Av Gary Fraser - 29 januari 2009 20:50

Things haven't been going so well for me lately. Someone has yet again vandalised a car I drive, I've given up on love, and although work has gotten better, I retain no zest for my job, or for my future anymore.

Its not that I feel sorry for myself, because I don't really, I just can't seem to motivate myself anymore. I go through the motions day in, day out. I play football, rather badly at the moment, and otherwise I have nothing to really look forward to in my day-to-day life.

Its all well and good asking for help, the thing is, even if I listen to the advice, understand it, and say "hey, that's a good idea", I won't follow through on it.

I don't want to move, and I don't want to stay....so what to do? It feels like I could just roll over, go to sleep and never wake up again.

This all sounds pathetic, if I had read this even a year ago, I would have given myself a kick up the backside, but now I see what my parents saw all those years ago.....

The apartment is a mess, and there's dishes to do, clothes to wash and a car to clean out (two really) but there's just nothing pushing me forward anymore.

Gonna zone out and do something completely pointless for a while.....


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Av Gary Fraser - 18 april 2010 20:53

I'm still sad, I dunno why, the anger seems to have faded now, so now I'm just sad. I don't tend to get angry about anything, mostly because there's so little passion left to get angry about things. Even after the car died in Morup, and it took nearl...

Av Gary Fraser - 17 april 2010 19:07

I coulda formatted it so that it actually looked half decent, but I can't be fucked. I don't blog anymore because I'm empty, there's not really a lot to say. I feel useless and basically like a machine. It feels like the spirit is crushed now. I miss...

Av Gary Fraser - 2 april 2010 16:40

Holding you in my arms As we laughed and danced and sang Waking beside you each day As the alarm on my telephone rang. Happiness was my friend I could never see you too soon You were the light against my darkness The flowers of summer w...

Av Gary Fraser - 28 mars 2010 03:20

I know you don't care, and I saw it on  your face when you cycled past, but I still am depressed because of you, I can't face the public, and I still want to come home and swallow a massive amount of pills and never wake up, just because you led me t...

Av Gary Fraser - 4 mars 2010 22:25

It's been a good day, but a stressful evening. People at work were saying I should have an inflyttningsfest and combine it with my birthday, at first I wasn't very keen on the idea, but after more and more said it would be a good idea, I decided to p...

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