This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
And these are my dreams
That I'd never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

(chorus)
Now that we're here,
It's so far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
All the mistakes,
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
Now that we're here its so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing ok
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before

Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

(chorus)

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don't shake me

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

Been a slow month this month...things just aren't really happening like I would have hoped... although thats not necessarily always bad.

New schema came out on Monday for work, and i was probably as annoyed as some of the worse-affected ones, because it means a large sacrifice in football. It's a sad thing, but I guess I have to pay the bills first.

Personal life is a bit of a rollercoaster, as it has been for quite a long time.

Some days I wish for home, and some days I realise that I have no home, and then the rest, there's no place I would rather be. Although the behaviour of some is starting to bring my "friendships" into question again. I was rather surprised at certain events recently regarding one friend, and have been left wondering. We've gone from such a large amount of communication to absolutely none more or less.

It's become difficult to have feelings for those who were close to me previously. One in particular, there's absolutely no feelings left. It's sad to give so much to something which no longer exists. Its like running up a mountain just to find the top fell away, and the achievements feel hollow, despite all we went through together.

Manchester in May is set, so looking forward to seeing my father again, he even invited someone along, which is a big thing (more because he even offered to pay!). To let someone into our family circle is a big thing for my family (especially when I had so much trouble fitting into that circle my whole life). Man Utd vs Man City seems on the cards, although it seems like we could be doing it difficult, since dads dragging his heels with the tickets.

Otherwise, not a great deal to report. Works ticking along, and life in general is "så där", so yeah. suppose another update will come when I feel the need :)