Direktlänk till inlägg 4 september 2009
I guess I came to a realisation after talking to my father a bit.
The one who I care so deeply for, she's not going to feel the same level that I felt for her. It's just fact. She's too preoccupied with planning a life away from Sweden. Or doing other things with other people. That of course, makes me sad in a way. Its not nice knowing that you can't provide all that someone you love wants from their live, or at least be a part of it.
So I guess I re-evaluated what I wanted. I still want to be with her, that goes without say, but I guess the expectations have changed. There aren't so many anymore, just to be around would be enough, hang out and whatever else until she's ready to move on, then I think I can find that closure and move on myself. Assuming of course she'd want anything at all.
I dunno, my lifes gone down the drain the past twelve months. It's hard to know what to believe anymore, but I guess I need something to hope for.
I'm still sad, I dunno why, the anger seems to have faded now, so now I'm just sad. I don't tend to get angry about anything, mostly because there's so little passion left to get angry about things. Even after the car died in Morup, and it took nearl...
I coulda formatted it so that it actually looked half decent, but I can't be fucked. I don't blog anymore because I'm empty, there's not really a lot to say. I feel useless and basically like a machine. It feels like the spirit is crushed now. I miss...
Holding you in my arms As we laughed and danced and sang Waking beside you each day As the alarm on my telephone rang. Happiness was my friend I could never see you too soon You were the light against my darkness The flowers of summer w...
I know you don't care, and I saw it on your face when you cycled past, but I still am depressed because of you, I can't face the public, and I still want to come home and swallow a massive amount of pills and never wake up, just because you led me t...
It's been a good day, but a stressful evening. People at work were saying I should have an inflyttningsfest and combine it with my birthday, at first I wasn't very keen on the idea, but after more and more said it would be a good idea, I decided to p...
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