I have just had my father talk me out of something, which I won't go into detail on.

I feel worthless, completely and utterly worthless. I've beaten myself up, with assistance, and now I feel completely empty, and devoid of anything.

All I wanted to do was care for someone, who in turn, didn't care for me. An excuse that I needed to be independent is bullshit, because my whole life I have been independent.  I just can never understand why it is that she could never be honest with me.

The whole thing has upset me so much, that often I've been in tears daily. Wondering why things went wrong, not just with us, but in general. Wondering how on earth I could pull myself up from this, because god knows I can't do it on my own.

The thing is, I've been holding on to the hope she would wake the fuck up from her problems, and realise that what we had was different. But I hold on to that hope because its the last hope I have.

In reality I know its different. It's just a matter of time before she finally gets the guts to say what she feels.