Direktlänk till inlägg 6 september 2009

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Av Gary Fraser - 6 september 2009 01:10

I have just had my father talk me out of something, which I won't go into detail on.

I feel worthless, completely and utterly worthless. I've beaten myself up, with assistance, and now I feel completely empty, and devoid of anything.

All I wanted to do was care for someone, who in turn, didn't care for me. An excuse that I needed to be independent is bullshit, because my whole life I have been independent.  I just can never understand why it is that she could never be honest with me.

The whole thing has upset me so much, that often I've been in tears daily. Wondering why things went wrong, not just with us, but in general. Wondering how on earth I could pull myself up from this, because god knows I can't do it on my own.

The thing is, I've been holding on to the hope she would wake the fuck up from her problems, and realise that what we had was different. But I hold on to that hope because its the last hope I have.

In reality I know its different. It's just a matter of time before she finally gets the guts to say what she feels.


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Av Gary Fraser - 18 april 2010 20:53

I'm still sad, I dunno why, the anger seems to have faded now, so now I'm just sad. I don't tend to get angry about anything, mostly because there's so little passion left to get angry about things. Even after the car died in Morup, and it took nearl...

Av Gary Fraser - 17 april 2010 19:07

I coulda formatted it so that it actually looked half decent, but I can't be fucked. I don't blog anymore because I'm empty, there's not really a lot to say. I feel useless and basically like a machine. It feels like the spirit is crushed now. I miss...

Av Gary Fraser - 2 april 2010 16:40

Holding you in my arms As we laughed and danced and sang Waking beside you each day As the alarm on my telephone rang. Happiness was my friend I could never see you too soon You were the light against my darkness The flowers of summer w...

Av Gary Fraser - 28 mars 2010 03:20

I know you don't care, and I saw it on  your face when you cycled past, but I still am depressed because of you, I can't face the public, and I still want to come home and swallow a massive amount of pills and never wake up, just because you led me t...

Av Gary Fraser - 4 mars 2010 22:25

It's been a good day, but a stressful evening. People at work were saying I should have an inflyttningsfest and combine it with my birthday, at first I wasn't very keen on the idea, but after more and more said it would be a good idea, I decided to p...

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