I guess its a bit tough right now. Everything is so up in the air. Things that matter most, well "the thing" that matters most, seems to just be drifting further and further away, and I feel helpless to stop it.

It does make me sad, knowing deep inside what the reality of things are, but that I just seem to ignore that. The thing I found last Saturday night, after talking to Dad, that despite all the shit that I feel, there is some sort of hope left. For "that" and for most other things. Even when the situation seems completely helpless.

The fact is though, right now its tough, and the one person asides from my father that can help, isn't there, and that hurts.