Direktlänk till inlägg 17 september 2009

Rubrik saknas

Av Gary Fraser - 17 september 2009 21:38

It's been a completely shitty day. Arbetsförmedlingen was a complete waste of fucking time, on the way home I got a speeding ticket, one which there's no way I can afford to pay in my current job state. And I'm just left with this completely bitter feeling.

To have someone just be completely rude and blunt, and "out of touch" hurts when you care so much. She's the only one of my friends who has gone out of her way to not give a fuck. Even some of her friends have talked about ways that might keep me here, but not her, oh no. She's the ONE person whom I would listen to over all  others here, but she's too busy doing everything possible to be not there, then when asked about it "oh it wouldn't make any difference anyways"....what a fucking cop out.

For someone who says she cares, and that she was serious about fixing this, she's got a pretty fucked up way of showing it. It's impossible to talk to her, because things get twisted, and then it just becomes a big excuse as to why we don't see each other.

Anyways, enough about her, it's time I accepted that she's going to be who she is going to be, and nothing is going to change that stubborness. To be honest, I got myself into this, she did say when we started dating that she was going to hurt me, but I refused to listen...so if you read this, you're released from it, congratulations, but I don't think it bothers you anyways.

Asides from that, last training at football today, and last match on sunday. Looking forward to the season ending, have lost touch with playing football over the past few months, and pretty much lost all my interest, which for someone who adores football, takes a lot.

Still not much doing on the job front, started applying for jobs outside of Sweden now, which require a swedish speaker, there's one in eastern europe which I'm pretty interested in, so gonna fix up my application for that tomorrow. Might be nice with a change of scenery, without having to go home.

Looking forward to the weekend, after work drinks with Emil, and then out both friday and saturday night to have a blast, and forget the shit that my day-to-day life seems to bring right now.


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Av Gary Fraser - 18 april 2010 20:53

I'm still sad, I dunno why, the anger seems to have faded now, so now I'm just sad. I don't tend to get angry about anything, mostly because there's so little passion left to get angry about things. Even after the car died in Morup, and it took nearl...

Av Gary Fraser - 17 april 2010 19:07

I coulda formatted it so that it actually looked half decent, but I can't be fucked. I don't blog anymore because I'm empty, there's not really a lot to say. I feel useless and basically like a machine. It feels like the spirit is crushed now. I miss...

Av Gary Fraser - 2 april 2010 16:40

Holding you in my arms As we laughed and danced and sang Waking beside you each day As the alarm on my telephone rang. Happiness was my friend I could never see you too soon You were the light against my darkness The flowers of summer w...

Av Gary Fraser - 28 mars 2010 03:20

I know you don't care, and I saw it on  your face when you cycled past, but I still am depressed because of you, I can't face the public, and I still want to come home and swallow a massive amount of pills and never wake up, just because you led me t...

Av Gary Fraser - 4 mars 2010 22:25

It's been a good day, but a stressful evening. People at work were saying I should have an inflyttningsfest and combine it with my birthday, at first I wasn't very keen on the idea, but after more and more said it would be a good idea, I decided to p...

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