I came to an interesting (re)-realisation today....

If I disappeared, one way or another, no one would notice for a full week, "helt-klart"

Today I feel bitter, I don't know exactly why, I know over who, but there's no real reason for it.

Booked off all my plans for tonight, basically I know that I'll be thinking about her, and  hoping we don't run into each other, and I think that would overshadow any fun I could possibly have. It also feels a bit stupid having to arrange places to drink so that I don't run into her.

Had a  lunch with Susanna today, was nice to get out of the house two days in a row. We chatted and talked about her hopefully new job and stuff about the dog. Enjoyed it anyways, before yesterday, it had been 6 days since I'd seen anyone I would call a friend, and only the third time I'd talked to ANYONE in person since last Sunday morning.

Hope I meet a few new friends soon, especially ones who are in town, need to replace some old ones who've shown their true colours.

I hold you close

and oh so near

Then the picture starts to blur

And you're not there

Dreams of you that came

Most days of the week

And who would have believed

You'd make my soul start to leak

Bitter, dark and cold

Like a cold November morning

As distant as the moons

No reasons why you ignore me

Moving forward, you go

Leaving me here behind

Wondering why this is so

That you smile, wave, and go

Suns pass my windws

Nights go for always

Alone with my thoughts

I throw away the days

Sooner more than later

You'll have forgotten about me

And all that we shared

Leaving me to wonder

If you really cared

Another night will pass

Where I will not lay my head

Just sit here in the darkness

Thinking what was said

The sun will rise again tomorrow

And I must face another day

Wondering if I'll find the guts

To take the easy way.