Direktlänk till inlägg 15 oktober 2009

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Av Gary Fraser - 15 oktober 2009 00:28

Hrmmm been a sorta down few days, had an incident tonight which left me a little surprised, and although its sorta done and dusted, and all resolved, it still left a little shock in the system.

Got the question recently on whether I miss what I had, given that I've been hanging out with Frida quite often. I've been trying not to think about it so much. Have tried to say something to her about it...but meh...it doesn't work, never comes out right, and it always feels like I'm being analysed for some hidden meaning. She's away to Thailand soon, and if A-kassa doesn't come in, I'll be gone before she comes back anyways. So I dunno.....just wish it could all fix itself, and I could be happy again.

Decided to make a break from someone earlier this week. Got tired of the bitterness, the accusations and the criticisms, as if everything that has happened has been my fault, when I haven't had any influence over anything for a very long time. If the person in question had such a distaste for me, then why talk? Maybe needed a scapegoat for everything that has gone wrong in her life since.....so it wasn't a tough decision to make, although it was a foolish thought of mine that I would have liked to go see her and see if things might have become easier over the years since we last met.

Asides from all the female stuff.... (seriously considering becoming a monk or something), was at job coaching today, and got a few leads, which I gotta follow up tomorrow, so maybe the first step? Still hoping to stay....

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Av Gary Fraser - 18 april 2010 20:53

I'm still sad, I dunno why, the anger seems to have faded now, so now I'm just sad. I don't tend to get angry about anything, mostly because there's so little passion left to get angry about things. Even after the car died in Morup, and it took nearl...

Av Gary Fraser - 17 april 2010 19:07

I coulda formatted it so that it actually looked half decent, but I can't be fucked. I don't blog anymore because I'm empty, there's not really a lot to say. I feel useless and basically like a machine. It feels like the spirit is crushed now. I miss...

Av Gary Fraser - 2 april 2010 16:40

Holding you in my arms As we laughed and danced and sang Waking beside you each day As the alarm on my telephone rang. Happiness was my friend I could never see you too soon You were the light against my darkness The flowers of summer w...

Av Gary Fraser - 28 mars 2010 03:20

I know you don't care, and I saw it on  your face when you cycled past, but I still am depressed because of you, I can't face the public, and I still want to come home and swallow a massive amount of pills and never wake up, just because you led me t...

Av Gary Fraser - 4 mars 2010 22:25

It's been a good day, but a stressful evening. People at work were saying I should have an inflyttningsfest and combine it with my birthday, at first I wasn't very keen on the idea, but after more and more said it would be a good idea, I decided to p...

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