Tough 12 hours....

I've been feeling tired, stressed, angry.

Had another one of those conversations with Sanna last night. The "we really should be together but it's probably never going to happen because we're both too stubborn to stop hurting each other" type conversations. All it would take is for her to show up...and stay. However it feels like everythings too far beyond repair. I dunno how I could meet her family again without feeling stupid, with all the things that have been said, although I was always left with the feeling she was a little embarrassed to have me around, something that's been denied. I dunno. Friends are telling me to move on, forget her...but I can't, and maybe I don't want to, and thats what sucks the most. Although it was a little amusing that the first I hear from her isn't "hello" but "who was that girl I was talking about"...Swedes in general aren't exactly masters in small talk.

All I want was to have her back, in my arms, night after night, everything else will fix itself like it used to do.

Began my diet yesterday, which no doubt contributed to my bad mood. I need to raise my levels of water, so as to avoid the headaches. Didn't help that I gave in and finished off my pommes that were sitting in the freezer, but it didn't add to my weight. Aiming to cut out the sugar direct, hence the onset of headaches and crankiness...however I refuse to give up beer :) Helpful given the big weekend thats coming, which, lets face it, I can't afford, but I'm going to do it anyways.

Job Coach today, looking forward to being told "you can do this, now get out" sorta thing....good fun.

True love was travlling on a gravel road
I followed into darkness, defied the bitter cold
As the lights of my hometown faded into night
I lost all my hope then, to ever make it right

And I…. Can't tell you what i saw
No, you've got to make it on your own
And I…… won't tell you what i know
No, you have to make it on your own

True love still travels along these dusty roads
For true love and friendship, I'll carry any load
I miss the lights of my hometown,
'cause I stayed away too long
For true love I trevelled
For love I wrote this song

And I…. Can't tell you what i saw
No, you've got to make it on your own
And I…… won't tell you what i know
No, you have to make it on your own, on your own