Well I've been making changes during the last week, but still been feeling bad.

So I've decided to take a slightly different approach. I removed all the people from my MSN list (asides from family) and waiting to see who messages me. Those who do, obviously want to, those who don't, no problem :)

I have decided to train when footballs on tv, so when there's a match on, I'll cycle and during the break lift weights and do sit ups. Been doing it for a week now, and every time I train, I feel so much better, so instead of feeling bad and wanting her back, I'll train, and if she still doesn't want me, I'll find someone better. Basically every time I feel down (which is often) I'll train instead. Already stopped drinking cola so the shaking in my hands has lesssened.

Already I have felt myself getting strength back in my body, and looking forward to taking a little care of my body. On the agenda is a waxing, and a choice of three tattoos I designed myself. I've wanted a tattoo for years, so I think its about time I go through with it.

I've come to the belief that I don't care what people think anymore, and that I am just going to concentrate on me and hope that things come along on the social front later. It would be nice to wake up beside someone again, however I don't see that as my priority just now.

GOALS FOR THE NEXT 3 MONTHS

- Drop back under 90 kilos

- Get the tattoo organised

- Raise my fitness to a good level again

- Take up the Nautilus offer through Servera as soon as I have money again (tomorrow maybe?)

- Go a whole month without cola

- Clear all debts I have (with a bank loan hopefully, and then start paying that off)

- Swim for 30 minutes straight

- Start saving money for a trip to South Africa or New Zealand next year.

They're all very vague I suppose, but something to aim for :)

Från
    Kom ihåg mig
URL

Säkerhetskod
     

Kommentar

I'm still sad, I dunno why, the anger seems to have faded now, so now I'm just sad. I don't tend to get angry about anything, mostly because there's so little passion left to get angry about things. Even after the car died in Morup, and it took nearl...

I coulda formatted it so that it actually looked half decent, but I can't be fucked. I don't blog anymore because I'm empty, there's not really a lot to say. I feel useless and basically like a machine. It feels like the spirit is crushed now. I miss...

Holding you in my arms As we laughed and danced and sang Waking beside you each day As the alarm on my telephone rang. Happiness was my friend I could never see you too soon You were the light against my darkness The flowers of summer w...

I know you don't care, and I saw it on  your face when you cycled past, but I still am depressed because of you, I can't face the public, and I still want to come home and swallow a massive amount of pills and never wake up, just because you led me t...

It's been a good day, but a stressful evening. People at work were saying I should have an inflyttningsfest and combine it with my birthday, at first I wasn't very keen on the idea, but after more and more said it would be a good idea, I decided to p...