Strange evening, slept most of it, and now I'm wide awake

Talked to Sanna earlier, first time in a few weeks. It actually felt good to talk to her, and  (on the first time) I felt better and happier. Still trying to get used to the just "going" though, without proper goodbyes, suppose I'll get used to it.

Mum woke me up around 11, asking to call, so ended up getting up to talk to her, and then couldn't get back to sleep again, and ended up having another short coversation with Sanna. I know I annoy the shit out of her when I'm down, and she's just frustrated because I can't just pick myself up. Nowadays I look back on an email she wrote a few weeks back on the nice stuff she says, and normally now that makes me feel better. It was a stark reminder how much I miss her.

Saw her photos from Turkey, and the guy I saw the email about I suppose, having trouble getting thoughts out of my head, but I know they're just silly, so trying to ignore them, still a source of jealousy for me though but I'll get through it.

A-kassa came in this evening, got 1500 today, plus a further 500 next week sometime. Better than nothing but still a fucking crock, shoulda been way more than that, but so sick of the shit, I'm tired of complaining, and will just take it and move on.

It's 3am, I have to be up at 6, I really should try and relax and sleep, nothing seems to have helped so far, wish I had sleeping pills or something.

Tack för att du fanns idag.

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