I don't even like Christmas, but it's unavoidable that one notices just how alone one is at times like these. To a point, it's self-imposed, but mostly because every time I've opened up to ANYONE in the past 6 months, I've been screwed over.

Those people who call themselves my friends, have done what they usually do, which is dísappear. Swedes have a fucked up idea of friendship in my opinion, especially the ones I thought were "close" friends.

Yeap, angry and bitter as usual, that's me

I think my debt will stop climbing now. If i ignore the credit card (which I can service over the next 6 months. I have aruond 17000 in debt. Which is basically the cost of being unemployed.

With luck, I can eradicate the money during the next four months, and pretty much start over again. Everything depends on whether i get permanently employed by Servera I suppose. Basically by the time the decision comes up for review, I should be debt-free, and basically then it will be to decide whether I want to continue with it, or whether I just give up.

A few songs are still kicking around in my head, Slipknots mostly "So break yourself against my stones, and spit your pity in my soul, you never needed any help,   you sold me out to save yourself, and I will listen to your shame, you ran away you're all the same."

Going to be a quiet day tomorrow, clean the place up, cook the julskinka I got from work, and then washing in the evening in between phone calls from my parents. What a wonderful life I have. As it is, I didn't get to system today (not that I really have money to spend anyways) so I have no alcohol for the "festive" period.

As it is, next week looks to be the same, work Monday-Wednesday, and then on my own for New Years and the such. Joyness.

Suppose, might as well go back to bed.

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