Direktlänk till inlägg 28 december 2009

Rubrik saknas

Av Gary Fraser - 28 december 2009 22:09

Just a quickie tonight, cold, and tired, and looking forward to hopping back into bed, having already slept two hours.


Been thinking about her all day :( really fucks me up, but not much I can do about it. Doing all I can to stop myself feeling bitter (no particular reason, just feels easier) and wishing things were easier. The whole conversation yesterday, for it to end as it did, just confused me even more.


Talked to an old friend today, who said that I' d changed almost unrecognisably. I guess since the shit started going down, I've had to protect myself a bit, especially from all the people who are out there just to hurt others when they're down so the said people can feel better about themselves. Totally tired of the people who are so gutless that they need to spread rumours behind peoples backs, its like being a fucking teenager again. So, easy solution, break contact, and have nothing to do with their pathetically petty lives. My lifes not exactly great either, but at least I can hold a certain morality to my behaviour.


Works going alright. They're pushing for a 5th person now in ankommande, which I'm not the happiest with. Simply because, no matter what it is I actually do, until I sign a permanent contact, I'm bottom of the heap, so if they overstaff, it will be me who's kicked off first. Not exactly a comfortable feeling. But it's out of my control, so I guess I just have to work as hard and as much as possible, and then see what happens in April-May. Still haven't ruled out a move away yet, if it doesn't go the way I want it.


Otherwise, training at work before I start again tomorrow (5am starts will kill me, I'm sure of it) got a little träningsverk (pain from training) but it will pass, shows my muscles are growing ;) (which they are, my biceps are bigger than they've been since I was working at Nitator)


Aja....time to sleep I suppose

 
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Kommentar

Av Gary Fraser - 18 april 2010 20:53

I'm still sad, I dunno why, the anger seems to have faded now, so now I'm just sad. I don't tend to get angry about anything, mostly because there's so little passion left to get angry about things. Even after the car died in Morup, and it took nearl...

Av Gary Fraser - 17 april 2010 19:07

I coulda formatted it so that it actually looked half decent, but I can't be fucked. I don't blog anymore because I'm empty, there's not really a lot to say. I feel useless and basically like a machine. It feels like the spirit is crushed now. I miss...

Av Gary Fraser - 2 april 2010 16:40

Holding you in my arms As we laughed and danced and sang Waking beside you each day As the alarm on my telephone rang. Happiness was my friend I could never see you too soon You were the light against my darkness The flowers of summer w...

Av Gary Fraser - 28 mars 2010 03:20

I know you don't care, and I saw it on  your face when you cycled past, but I still am depressed because of you, I can't face the public, and I still want to come home and swallow a massive amount of pills and never wake up, just because you led me t...

Av Gary Fraser - 4 mars 2010 22:25

It's been a good day, but a stressful evening. People at work were saying I should have an inflyttningsfest and combine it with my birthday, at first I wasn't very keen on the idea, but after more and more said it would be a good idea, I decided to p...

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