Direktlänk till inlägg 21 januari 2010
I really am a sucker for punishment. the week had been going ok, the depression wasn't too bad, and was easily managable. Then I got a comment on a photo on facebook, which involved her, and I clicked, and of course, nosey, nosey, saw the New Years photos, with, naturally, the pathological liar having his arm around her. Yeah it is jealousy, to a point. The thing is, it's not the jealousy where I want her back, it's the jealousy that he doesn't deserve that luxury. Mind, she can do what she wants, and no doubt, she probably is.
So yeap, dragged myself down again, and it's not very fun being here, that much is certain. Have my first appointment next week, and hope to finally clear things out with how angry I am, over her and her bullshit and secrets, and all the other crap that's happened over the past 6 months. Dunno how it will go, but i hope I get to have an appointment more than once a month.
Still no closer to allowing anyone in, have had a little interest in someone, but that's not worked out (of course), mind doesn't help when you're all bitter and twisted.
Anyways, more overtime at work tomorrow, and then a "gathering" out in Tylösand, they want me to come into town later, but I have neither the money nor the interest in doing so.
I'm still sad, I dunno why, the anger seems to have faded now, so now I'm just sad. I don't tend to get angry about anything, mostly because there's so little passion left to get angry about things. Even after the car died in Morup, and it took nearl...
I coulda formatted it so that it actually looked half decent, but I can't be fucked. I don't blog anymore because I'm empty, there's not really a lot to say. I feel useless and basically like a machine. It feels like the spirit is crushed now. I miss...
Holding you in my arms As we laughed and danced and sang Waking beside you each day As the alarm on my telephone rang. Happiness was my friend I could never see you too soon You were the light against my darkness The flowers of summer w...
I know you don't care, and I saw it on your face when you cycled past, but I still am depressed because of you, I can't face the public, and I still want to come home and swallow a massive amount of pills and never wake up, just because you led me t...
It's been a good day, but a stressful evening. People at work were saying I should have an inflyttningsfest and combine it with my birthday, at first I wasn't very keen on the idea, but after more and more said it would be a good idea, I decided to p...
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