Direktlänk till inlägg 22 januari 2010

Rubrik saknas

Av Gary Fraser - 22 januari 2010 01:44

Quarter to two, and wide awake thanks to an email I got. I'm so angry and stressed I'm shaking. But, apparently I'm not allowed to share my thoughts on it, or else I'll get another email saying "so and so said this".  so fuck it, fine, I won't write ANYTHING regarding that subject again, despite the pain and bitterness it causes me, I know what I've seen and read, so despite everything, even if I don't write it, I'll think it. Happy now? Good, leave me the fuck alone.

Just want to clear my head, forget everything regarding it existed and move on. Most likely, I'll never be able to truly do that before I leave here. I don't trust people easily, and when I feel like that trust has been lost, it's impossible for me to give it back, and I felt that most people in my life has abused and lost that trust, so now I feel alone, but I can deal, because before yesterday evening, it's the best I've felt in over a year, simply because I know that anything I have in my life isn't false.

But ok, I'll draw a line under everything. Forget these people ever existed, and know that I'm far better off without them. It's a learning experience, and I'll come out of it knowing that I won't allow anyone to let me feel like that again.

I will try and sleep again now. Another long day at work ahead.


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Av Gary Fraser - 18 april 2010 20:53

I'm still sad, I dunno why, the anger seems to have faded now, so now I'm just sad. I don't tend to get angry about anything, mostly because there's so little passion left to get angry about things. Even after the car died in Morup, and it took nearl...

Av Gary Fraser - 17 april 2010 19:07

I coulda formatted it so that it actually looked half decent, but I can't be fucked. I don't blog anymore because I'm empty, there's not really a lot to say. I feel useless and basically like a machine. It feels like the spirit is crushed now. I miss...

Av Gary Fraser - 2 april 2010 16:40

Holding you in my arms As we laughed and danced and sang Waking beside you each day As the alarm on my telephone rang. Happiness was my friend I could never see you too soon You were the light against my darkness The flowers of summer w...

Av Gary Fraser - 28 mars 2010 03:20

I know you don't care, and I saw it on  your face when you cycled past, but I still am depressed because of you, I can't face the public, and I still want to come home and swallow a massive amount of pills and never wake up, just because you led me t...

Av Gary Fraser - 4 mars 2010 22:25

It's been a good day, but a stressful evening. People at work were saying I should have an inflyttningsfest and combine it with my birthday, at first I wasn't very keen on the idea, but after more and more said it would be a good idea, I decided to p...

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