Direktlänk till inlägg 20 februari 2010

Rubrik saknas

Av Gary Fraser - 20 februari 2010 22:24

Alone days are always the toughest.

You think alot, you process events, information, and feelings, and see where you stand at the end of it.

I don't like where I stand in life, that much is clear. I'm not happy with my position in life, where I'm going, where I've been. Of course, what can I do to change it? Admittedly it has to start with my appearance. I'm unhappy with my body, and thats the easiest thing to change in a short period of time.

So, again, I want to try and get down in weight, and there's only one way to do it.

I think, with all the changes that are happening around me, I can hop on the bandwagon and make things easier.

Personally, internally, I'm still a mess, I accept that, and I'm doing what I can to change it. But for just one thing, that I wish in life, is to have someone to hold, every now and again, just chill out, cuddle on the sofa, and share my life with someone. I thought I'd found someone who fitted everything perfectly, but she disagreed, and needed to find a way out. So be it, but even thinking of finding someone else I can trust shakes me to my bones.

To a point, my humour is returning, some of the personality that I used to have, which made it so easy to get along with people is coming back, but it will always be damaged, and tinged with sadness it feels. Over the life that I lost, the love that I lost, and the person whom I was, that I don't feel I could ever be again


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Av Gary Fraser - 18 april 2010 20:53

I'm still sad, I dunno why, the anger seems to have faded now, so now I'm just sad. I don't tend to get angry about anything, mostly because there's so little passion left to get angry about things. Even after the car died in Morup, and it took nearl...

Av Gary Fraser - 17 april 2010 19:07

I coulda formatted it so that it actually looked half decent, but I can't be fucked. I don't blog anymore because I'm empty, there's not really a lot to say. I feel useless and basically like a machine. It feels like the spirit is crushed now. I miss...

Av Gary Fraser - 2 april 2010 16:40

Holding you in my arms As we laughed and danced and sang Waking beside you each day As the alarm on my telephone rang. Happiness was my friend I could never see you too soon You were the light against my darkness The flowers of summer w...

Av Gary Fraser - 28 mars 2010 03:20

I know you don't care, and I saw it on  your face when you cycled past, but I still am depressed because of you, I can't face the public, and I still want to come home and swallow a massive amount of pills and never wake up, just because you led me t...

Av Gary Fraser - 4 mars 2010 22:25

It's been a good day, but a stressful evening. People at work were saying I should have an inflyttningsfest and combine it with my birthday, at first I wasn't very keen on the idea, but after more and more said it would be a good idea, I decided to p...

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